Slow down, girl

How many of you find yourself cleaning the same room more than once a day? Do you have a room that gets just as much attention as the collective remainder of your house? For me, it's my kitchen and living room. When the kitchen is clean all is right in the world. When my living room is neat it's easier for me to relax.

The problem is that I live with two small children.

I'm not trying to blame our mess on them, but Gavin is quick to pull out his toys. He gets crumbs all over the floor. He's three. We're working on it. Sweet Joanna can't even sit up on her own yet but she has lots of stuff. Bottles that need to be cleaned. Diapers and wipes (used and unused) that camp out on the coffee table or floor when we are in a rush and can't put them where they belong. Grossed out that I might forget to throw a pee-pee diaper away? Sorry. You might not want to come over here.

I would repetitively take care of these two rooms while the back rooms of my house went to crap. Then I had an epiphany this summer:

WHY am I cleaning the same room over and over again? WHY am I spreading this blanket out on the floor for the third time in an hour? WHY am I sweeping the floor in the middle of the day when Gavin is going to come over here in five minutes, eat a pack of nabs, and get crumbs everywhere?

And then, it was like wings of freedom sprung from my back. I was no longer a slave to my house.

I did a decent job learning to slow down this summer. I learned how to stop cleaning and start reading instead.  Sometimes I napped while my children napped and folded clothes when they were awake and beside me; other times I worked while they were away and played with them when they got home. I realized that I didn't have to reserve certain times for fun and certain times for work; instead, I balanced. I spent the summer feeling inspired, looking for creative outlets rather than wiping counters for the third time that day. I read book after book, journaled my prayers, and started writing.

This summer was spent breathing and enjoying my time. I learned how to slow down and become more present.

Right now my house looks like a hot mess. Some of my girlfriends and my sister for sure would laugh in my face because they think my idea of a "hot mess" is a joke. None of the beds are made, there are hampers full of dirty laundry, and things need to be scrubbed and wiped down. This is my first full week back to work so my house has been somewhat neglected. Yet here I am, typing away instead. I'm learning, y'all.

We need to choose how our time is best spent so that it benefits our heart and mentality. Writing is a healthy, positive outlet for me. I love to talk and writing is like talking when there's no one physically around to listen. So here I am writing instead of doing dishes. They will get done tomorrow. Soon I'll climb over dirty clothes to tuck my son in. I won't turn the covers down because the bed didn't get made in the first place. I adore clean, tight sheets but there was something more important to do this morning.

Slow down, girl. It's not a race. Sometimes it feels like it, I know. That's when you need to ask yourself what is truly important, here? What is going to leave the lasting impression? Yes, there are dishes, but this blog may speak to someone who needs it. There's a good chance my dog will sneak into the house and eat the crumbs under Gavin's table, but my daughter though, she's smiling at me while she's in her bouncer and I'm not ready to get up yet.

Slow down, girl. Yes, the laundry is already wrinkled from not being folded yet, but the sunset is so pretty and there's wine is in the fridge. Okay, so the car still has sand in it from vacation but we haven't seen weather in the 70's in weeks and it's perfect for a run. Yes, you need to finish that thing for work but everyone is on the floor in the living room and 30 minutes won't hurt. Yes, you are exhausted but that 15 minutes to pray over coffee at 5am will be so worth it. (I need to remember that tomorrow morning at 5 am.)

Slow down, girl. There are more important things. Breathe, girlfriend. Life is everywhere. It doesn't care about your counters or beds or toilets or dirty diapers. Take care of yourself first so that you can take care of those around you. And you can't do that until you slow down.