I have rarely gone without a “tribe.” Like many people, my tribe has changed as I have transitioned through different stages of life. The tribe that I had in high school was different from the tribe I had in college. The tribe I had immediately post-college is different from my tribe now.
I have shed friends here and there for a number of reasons: I no longer saw them everyday, one of us moved, one of us entered into a new stage of life that the other couldn’t really identify with. In very few cases, we had a disagreement that we couldn’t quite get past. People come and go. Sometimes it’s nobody’s fault. They are there when it makes sense and sometimes they leave when it makes sense. It’s just how things go.
Sometimes making friends is hard. Keeping a friendship alive can certainly be challenging. While friendships may begin naturally, many don’t survive without effort. They are an investment. Tell your tribe that you love them. Tell them you appreciate them. Pray for them and pray for your friendships to flourish.
There might be hard moments when you may not agree. You may have to share brutal honesty that you don’t feel comfortable sharing. These are team-building opportunities. I am continually learning from my friends; they are helping me grow when they have absolutely no idea.
I have been a YES person for a long time. I like to please and I don’t mind taking on extra to make people happy and to see something succeed. Not too long ago I texted to a few girlfriends about participating in a 5k with me. One replied, “I’m undecided” (accompanied by the little shrugging emoji). You guys - y’all have no idea how much LIFE those two words (and emoji) breathed into me that day. It is refreshing to see a person pause before committing because they need to think. In that moment I thought I’m going to start being more like that. When I jump to say YES!, I typically spend the moments after figuring out things like Wait, do I have anything planned for that day? Can someone watch the kids? Do I even really want to do this? How disappointed would this person be if I have to go back on my YES? Watching my girl take control that day really hit home and it taught me a lesson about breathing for a minute. It’s okay to say no, and it’s okay to say I don’t know. It was a pivotal moment for me. That’s what your tribe does, though; they teach you. They help you become the person that you want to be and God wants you to be. Treasure your tribe!
I don't know about you guys... but my tribe likes to eat.I’m fortunate to say that I have friendships that have survived distance. These girls give me so much life. We keep our friendships alive electronically and sometimes it can get hilarious. It’s not work though; it’s funny and fun and I love it. Thank you for being a part of my tribe.
I have friendships that have flourished despite drastic life changes. Someone got married. Someone had kids. Someone went through some serious life stuff. We stayed friends, though. We beat the odds. Thank you for being a part of my tribe.
Like woven threads, I have friendships that have entered and exited my life just to re-enter and exit again. Paused for a bit, then picked up where they left off. No explanations needed, just acceptance and support. Even though some of these friends may not have been the most constant, they have been there the longest. Have mercy y’all. Thank you for being a part of my tribe.
Having settled just 30 minutes away from where I grew up, I’ve had the opportunity to make the acquaintances of my younger life actual friends in my adult life. It seems that since we’re older, we realize how much we have in common and we love each other for it. Thank you for being a part of my tribe.
Social media tribe? Got that too, boo. There are women who understand me without ever having laid eyes upon my actual person. I see their posts and pictures and think “I really like her. She’s my kind of human.” Someone probably thinks that about you, too. Thank you for being a part of my tribe.
Then, I have the tribe. The ones that breathe life into me daily. These women. I learn from them. They do life with me, worship with me, eat meals and drink a bottle of wine with me, laugh and cry with me. They love my kids. We pray for each other. We’re real with each other. They are my forever friends. You are irreplaceable. Thank you for being a part of my tribe.
Cliche maybe, but I believe that people play roles in your life for specific reasons. I would like to think that the friends that I have made and lost throughout the years have served a purpose; maybe I can or can not see what that purpose is, but I’ll choose to believe that it was all for the greater good and somehow it shaped me into the person that I am now. This is why I am so grateful for my tribe: distant, changed, woven, adult, social, and the ultimate day-to-day tribe I lean on right now now. I’m grateful for my old tribes and those ladies that will be there in my tribe to come. I love you all.
Thank you for being a part of my tribe.
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