When I was in college I took a writing class in which you were expected to write four or five pieces to be read and critiqued by your peers around a large round table. The professor was a published female author with flowy clothing and a jet-black cropped haircut. I imagined it would be all Dead Poet's Society and I'd be standing on the table and on my way to writing success by the summer.
Well, you know what? Everyone hated my writing. It turns out, I didn't know what I was doing at all.
This one guy who appeared to know his stuff was assigned to critique my first piece, a cute snapshot of my trip to visit a friend studying abroad in Italy. I poked fun at myself for wearing heels on the cobblestone streets and gushed about how I "had learned so much about myself" while in Florence and Rome. I was telling the truth; I really had learned about myself. I learned that I could be adventurous on my own and that life extended past northeast North Carolina (which is, ironically, where still I live today). Anyways, this guy told me "Amanda, this is good, but it's a memoir. This is not a story. There is no beginning, middle, and end." Um, okay. There went that.
Me learning "so much about myself" in Italy. It really was a great experience.
To another girl he said, "I thought you were developing your characters at the beginning of the story. I thought one was going to be the vessel and one was going to be the wine." I remember thinking How the heck did he get that out of a couple of girls drinking Franzia? (Thinking back on this now, I wonder did that guy even drink wine? The author of that short-story-turned-sorority-thriller could've seriously debated her character with the right knowledge. A missed opportunity, I guess.) I later saw him working at Barnes and Noble one day and decided he was a writing genius.
While the class was a prerequisite for my teaching degree, I believe it may have been the first tugs of encouragement on my heart to begin writing. I have been "beginning" to write for over ten years. I'm still beginning. I recently found my last piece for that class saved on my computer. I never had a face-to-face critique because my self confidence was pretty much shot by then, but I remember my professor emailing me to say how proud she was of this piece, but getting on me for leaving it as a cliffhanger. (I'm including this link to the last submission to my not-so Dead Poet's Society writing class, circa 2007 for anyone that wants to take a gander.) I guess I was finally on the right track.
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Are you familiar with Chrystal Evans Hurst? Here's what you need to know: she's amazing.
The girls in my small group are doing a Bible study with her book She's Still There. There is one chapter in which Chrystal continually mentions "following the breadcrumbs." She believes that God gives us talents and then allows us to develop them and find our own way by identifying the "breadcrumbs;" the opportunities that He has laid out for us.
With the Today Parenting Team highlighting my blog post, the past few hours have been nothing short of exciting and humbling. I have entertained the thought of blogging for years. As a matter of fact, if you look at my history on Blogger, it tells you that I have been blogging since May of 2013. That's over 5 years of nothing. I would revamp my layout, write an introductory post about how I was going to start blogging, and then forget about it.
I'm going to switch gears for a second but it will all make sense, so stay with me. Do you ever map out conversations in your head? Talk to yourself, prep for a debate, or create some sort of awesome fantasy while you are doing something mindless? About a month after I had given birth to my first child I was sweeping my kitchen floor. I don't remember the specifics, but someone (else) had rubbed me the wrong way about just waiting until my son was older or until I had two children or something of that sort. I created an entire stand to take against just waiting. I was going to rock the world with this original idea of enjoying the moment and whatnot. The point is that it took over three years for me to write that blog post. That idea was a breadcrumb that God was laying out for me. I revisited it over and over for three years, each time with more ammo, but never put the words on paper. Breadcrumbs.
That college class that made me feel like an idiot? A breadcrumb.
The time I bought a three-subject Five Star notebook and wrote all of my deepest thoughts and secrets, hoping it would be the inspiration for a novel one day? Breadcrumb.
When I was in the eighth grade and passed a journal back and forth with my best friend between classes, writing poetry, stories, and notes? Again with a different friend in high school? Breadcrumbs.
How about the dream I had that I vowed would be written as a novel one day? How about the years I told my students to remember me and keep their graded papers, because I was going to be famous and they could sell my signature on eBay? BREADCRUMBS!
Y'all! The path has been there the whole time! How many times has God laid out a breadcrumb and I brushed it away? There's not a chance in this world that I followed His voice every time He inspired me to write or simply think about writing! How many times should I have been listening and missed His call?
The screenshot heard across the tri-county areaLast week I decided to revamp my blog for the umpteenth time and finally put that message on paper. I nervously sent it to a couple of friends and received valuable feedback. Then, a little voice led me to the Today Parenting Team site and I shared my post, hoping that it would resonate with someone. Anyone can post on this feed. I knew about the breadcrumbs at this point and I gave my writing to God. I told Him to lead me in whatever direction He wanted to. In the meantime, I would have a creative outlet to express myself. If no one read it, that was okay. I would have an online diary. I was nervous enough as it was to share my blog. There are lots of nay-sayers in this world and my heart wasn't ready to meet them. I'm still not ready.
While getting ready for church Sunday morning, that little voice told me to share my piece with more people. I sent it to my mom, sister, and five more friends. It crossed my mind to put it on Facebook but I became anxious at the thought. Nay-sayers, remember.
By Tuesday night I had a Facebook notification from a college friend. "Amanda Hobbs!! I thought that little boy looked familiar!" My post. Shared by the Today Parenting Team. Liked already. Commented on already. SHARED ALREADY. Is that a crumb or a slice?
My message is to speak your truth! Your words give life! Your goals are reachable! I am not famous; there are dozens upon dozens of articles highlighted every single day on the Today Parenting Team site. I just happen to be one of them. However, what a testament to God's faithfulness! When you think you can't, my dear, He is right there laughing at you. Watch this, He says. I imagine there is a lightning bolt or something of the sort that flies from his hands and BOOM, opportunity is created.
This actual post started as something completely different. I just wanted to tell a funny story about myself and let you read something that I wrote in college. I had the foundation of this post written and saved as a draft. I left to take my son to the eye doctor and by the time I was home and settled, my article had been shared online. What a testament to faithfulness. What a testament to God and His breadcrumbs!
Is there something nudging at your soul? I encourage you to read Chrystal's book, specifically chapter 11. Look for the breadcrumbs in your life. Identify them, call them out, nurture them, then get out there and crush it girl. And when you do, let me know and I'll blog about it.
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